Winter grey beach.
Step gingerly into the soft ocean. January icy water. Pain.
It’s not enough.
Among the beautiful shells and soft sand are cigarette butts.
Then, a sand castle.
A reminder that children are better than the slobs who raise them.
But won’t they too grow up to be slobs? Ignorant cunts playing music too loud, refusing to move out of the passing lane, bringing 18 grocery items into 10-or-Less and carelessly leaving cigarette butts and bottles on beautiful beaches?
We are disgusting.
We are parasites.
Thinking only of ourselves.
Ruining the beautiful host we live off.
I choose a path broken shells to walk on. They cut into my feet, and I am aware of every single step I take.
This is why we asphyxiate for orgasm.
Cheat on those who love us.
Slice into our arms and leave scars.
Fuck in public.
We want to feel.
Shell cuts my foot. Sit down on the rocks.
The blood waits, then flows. It matches my chipped red toenail polish. Instead of crying out, I’m fascinated. I feel.
We all have the same choices.
Ruin our lives, our credit, our careers.
Or skydive. Salsa dance. Scuba. Visit a country that won’t speak our language. Try new food. Give.
Then…there are None Of The Above.
They do nothing. Live in monotony. Live in fear.
Never trying for dreams. Maybe they ruin dreams for others.
Dead while alive.
A complete waste of space. Their lungs breathe air into an empty soul.
“I’m bored.” This is not possible.
There is so much to enjoy, see, taste and learn.
What is meant to be said is: “I am boring.”
Seagulls screech overhead, the waves hit the rocks, the blood trickles down.
I breathe deep the salty air.
Feel the chilly sand.
I am Alive.
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6 thoughts on “FEEL.”
True enough, if a little harsh.
But maybe harshness is what’s needed.
And that too, seems a shame.
Caught me on a night I am already depressed.
Keep it simple. Do the next right thing.
There’s a lot to be said for living the life you want to live.
I followed in my dad’s footsteps and missed the decisions I needed to make 4 myself..
Now I wonder when I’ll stop making bad decisions.
Thank you for this. Very well-timed reminder.
love it april, really do…
This is a brilliant writing that articulates what we may think but don’t quite know how to say well. It is very poetic and an interesting read. We take so much for granted and overlook a lot of what we have to enjoy. We even go as far as to destroy what we have and we destroy ourselves in the process.
Yeah…we are parasites. Sadly. I think there should be a mandatory agreement new parents have to sign and abide by, swearing to recycle for life when they have children!