Chapter 20: Men Are Like Shoes 


She sighed. We were sitting outside a cafe near the beach on a chilly winter day with our coats buttoned up tight and steaming cappuccinos in our hands. There were also two glasses of Cabernet…as chasers.

“I don’t get it. Some days I really think I’m over this and can do it all myself. Who needs him? He doesn’t do the things I ask him to. It’s almost like he doesn’t do them on purpose because I’m asking! Then just when I’m ready to end it he’ll do something amazing and I love him again. But next week…it’s the same thing all over.”

I looked at her. “Men are like shoes.”

“Shoes? I don’t get it.”a49b18f13a404bc3b77136b967e988a3

I pointed to her black stiletto boots. “Do you expect your shoes to change to fit your feet?”

She looked puzzled. “No…”

“Then why do you expect men to change to fit your needs? Those boots are hot, but I’m sure after a while they hurt. What happens then? Do you try to lower the heel and reshape them, do you kick them off and go barefoot…or do you slip on a more comfortable pair?”

She laughed. “You can’t be serious. Men and shoes?”


“Oh, sweetheart, of course I am! Think about it…the relationship and love between women and shoes can be as complicated and inexplicable as it is between any woman and man. If you don’t expect your shoes to change, don’t expect a man to change. Some are pretty and uncomfortable. Others fit great but lack flair. Some women can only love shoes that hurt their feet. However, sometimes you love shoes that don’t change, but loosen up. They become your favorite. So comfortable, that even when they start falling apart, you’ll never want to get rid of them. “


“Oh, wow. That makes so much sense. Where did you come up with that?”

“I didn’t. For a couple of years, while I was living in France I found that the French have a vastly different and much more honest way of looking at things. It was there that I heard the saying ‘men are like shoes.’ The more I thought about it, the saying clicked with me. I had a much better outlook of relationships afterwards. Namely, not being disappointed or bitter. It simply was what it was and I brought this saying back to America to amuse my friends.

Some shoes fit better than others. Sometimes you go shopping and there’s nothing you like. And then, as luck would have it, the next week you find two pairs that are perfect, but you don’t have the money for both.”

We drained the last of our wine.

Gathering our bags to leave, I looked at her and smiled. “Your time and energy is valuable. Don’t waste too much of it expecting your shoes to change. Shoes that pinch don’t have to be part of your life, you know. Sometimes you have to try on a few pairs to find something that is the perfect fit for you. C’est la vie.”






Author: themuseherself

I'm a girl trying to find her way...and enjoy the ride along the way.

5 thoughts on “Chapter 20: Men Are Like Shoes ”

  1. The term missing here is “compliance”. Men gain compliance over their women at a certain point, the majority of women that is. Eddie Murphy put it best with the word sound “ooo-oooo-OOOO” in Eddie Murphy raw. 🙂 🙂 – Once that sound and feeling is achieved, “most” women will go through the majority of tribulations. But, in seriousness, most ladies won’t break up out of fear or change. Women primarily. Men need to work more on being honest about their intentions. My lady is a wrestler, and she knows I desire other women. I’ve been honest about it. But, some shoes stink, some don’t fit, and some need to be changed when the time comes. There is no perfect relationship, just perfect challenges.


  2. Just made a long comment, was forced to log in, and I think it’s gone. Simply said that this is a matter of “compliance”, meaning the man has gained it over his female. Once the ooo-ooo-OOOO word/sound occurs that Eddie Murphy described in Eddie Murphy raw, it’s all over. 😉 🙂 – You can talk to your female friends until they are blue in the face, but if the man has compliance, no amount of shoe changing suggestions will do the trick. And, if men are like shoes, women are like food. If they constantly give you an upset stomach and indigestion, it’s time to change your diet. 🙂


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