Chapter 23 – Wasp: 1 – April: 0. (Money for Everything and My Chicks for Free.)

I had no idea I’d almost died on Memorial Day. I planned on a good workout, some pool time and a movie. None of that happened, because while I was watering the plants on my porch, a Yellow Jacket stung my right calf.

11140262_693344740799001_4541704822474790698_nI had no idea I’d almost died on Memorial Day. I planned on a good workout, some pool time and a movie. None of that happened, because while I was watering the plants on my porch, a Yellow Jacket stung my right calf.

My left calf was stung two weeks ago. While it took forever to heal and itched like a ma’fucker, I didn’t have any real issues, having been stung many times before with no problems.

Just an asshole.

This day was different.  My throat tightened, the right side of my body went numb, my eye swelled almost shut, and I lost vision.  My entire body broke into burning hives (even the palms of my hands and feet, mouth, tongue and throat). Being an ‘idiot wrestler’, I usually tough everything out.

Me to Chris, as I’m frantically scrubbing my leg with alcohol: “Um, I should probably mention that I don’t feel very well. I feel kind of weird.”

Him: “Do you have Benadryl? I’ll go get you some.”

Me, bending over like I’d been running: “I don’t think I can breathe. You might want to hurry.” He ran out to the corner store, but before he got back, I knew I was way past allergy medication. He attempted to speed me to the emergency clinic (with him swearing at the slow driver in front of us. At least Florida is consistent!) and I honestly had no idea how bad it was.

Art by Gary Yap.

I am largely in denial about my own mortality. I believe my own gimmick; that I’m Super Woman.  Big Red. The Prize, April Hunter. A Viking warrior, ass-kicking my way through life. Moments like these, flashes of reality, crush me.

When I arrived to the emergency clinic, they took me immediately. Or mostly did, as I was in the process of passing out during check-in.  I received a series of injections:  epinephrine, steroids, more Benadryl . Wash, rinse, repeat. After several doses of everything, my body broke out into more hives, my tongue swelled and my blood pressure dropped. We were informed that they were calling an ambulance to have me rushed to the ER because it was getting worse. (As ‘rushed’ as one can be in this beautiful healthcare system we have, complete with staggering wait-times and gigantic bills, even with insurance.) I’d just gotten on Blue Cross at Christmas, but had never used it. I vaguely remember looking at the doctor and then Chris and being worried. “I don’t know if I can do that…is an ambulance covered?”

“The ambulance is covered.”


Rushed Defined in the USA:

-The ambulance took 32 minutes to go 8 minutes down the road. Fortunately, I was stabilized right before they’d arrived.

-Upon arrival, you must check in with name, social security and insurance card before anyone does anything for you. I’m fairly certain they hand you two Tylenol and dump you off the gurney sideways if you’re missing any of that information.  After all, you can’t be “denied treatment”.

-You are informed there will be a $250 to $5000 deductible to pay, depending on your insurance coverage. You’ll still be surprised with fat bills, which you’ll have to submit again and again to your insurance company and spend hours of your life trying to argue off.

-A US hospital has been known to charge up to $800 for an IV that is 6 liters of salt water. An ambulance ride is approximately $750 for 5 miles. By the way, that Tylenol pill will cost you $15. Each.  

-Only once you are checked in are you treated. By a nurse, who doesn’t give a shit. The one who does give a shit comes in later. She is an absolute sweetheart, and you kind of want to stuff her in your purse and keep her. The doctor arrives about an hour after that.

I was given a bunch of injections and, of course, the aforementioned $800 saline IV. To be fair, it was a lovely IV. A designer brand…from Italy, I think.  Haute couture.

If you’re a walk-in, bring a book. Or three. While I was at Quick Care Doctors Express, a woman checked in to have her wrist stitched up after sitting in a hospital emergency room for four hours.  She’d tapped out and decided that bleeding in her car was better than waiting another four hours.

I’ve been treated for emergency and non-emergency issues in Canada, Japan, Germany, Jamaica and England. I’ve never had to wait as long as I have here, with the exception of once in Alberta, Canada.

In England, Germany and Jamaica, the doctor came out to treat me; I didn’t have to go in. Let me just state for the record that house calls are awesome! While in Toronto, Canada, I was treated for a shattered nose (from an elbow to the face, and I still have issues breathing to this day), but they also x-rayed my ankle to confirm it was sprained instead of broken from the previous week of wrestling in Mexico. Furthermore, they did it gratis. The wait time was about fifteen minutes.  Being American, I did have to pay a bill, but it wasn’t much. The company I worked for in Canada covered it.

Some things should never be for profit; healthcare is one of them. There is no amount of money a mother or father won’t pay to save their child. That’s why it’s completely wrong, and the USA is the only country doing it this way. Clearly, we are a country of laws and capitalism, not ethics.

Fucking cocksuckers.

The question is : why do we tolerate it? Is it because we think there’s no other way? Do we believe the lies we’re told about how other countries have “horrible” socialized care, where you’ll die while waiting? Currently, the socialized healthcare we do have, like the VA and Medicare, is mostly crap…so we think if we go that way across the board, it might all turn to shit? Is it because we think that we can’t afford it? That’s laughable. Every other country can afford it, but we can’t? Yet, we’re still #1 in cost per person for some of the worst care in the world. This makes absolutely zero sense. None.

Perhaps, it could be that we’re simply stupid and ignorant as a country? I feel we fail to “Question Authority” (a saying from when I grew up) and see what is really going on – that we are being taken advantage of. Each and every single one of us is being taken. We are being lied to by Pharma companies who run/own the media and congress. These companies are in bed with our FDA, which is why our food is so contaminated. Our foods are banned in other countries. Much of what we eat is considered toxic. This is why we’re sick. No other nation is as ill as the USA. Not even third world countries.

However, get this: Medical Profit is a huge part of the American GDP. Healthcare is one of our top grossing earners. Our slogan could be this: “Illness-The Only Thing Left That’s Made 100%  in America.”

So, let’s recap… Contaminate the food (check), people get sick (check), charge a fortune to keep them alive (check), and rake in fuckloads of money being a completely parasitic system (check). Get it?10580065_535100189956791_5333298893109803485_n

Avoid this by opting out. Go certified organic, locally grown, free range and grass fed. (To those of you who will now quote the show ‘Bullshit’ to me about how organic was found to not be any different than standard stuff; if you’re getting your dietary advice from a Penn & Teller show, you have issues.) Yes, you’re going to pay a little more on the front end for quality food and preventative care (such as a gym membership, massage, supplements, yoga, etc…), or you’re going to pay a fortune on the back end.  Remember, every bite of food you eat will either nourish you or kill you. It’s your choice.

Let’s continue…

US Healthcare Ranked Dead Last:

US Healthcare: Most Expensive, Least Effective:

If we total the money being taken  from our paychecks for insurance, payment deductibles and co-pays each year, we are probably paying more than some of the higher taxed countries are who have quality healthcare included for their tax dollars.

There’s absolutely no reason to add this photo. Hopefully, you’re still reading.

I’ve been denied care in a Connecticut emergency room without health insurance (after being unceremoniously dropped by Blue Cross Anthem for being a wrestler) when I broke two vertebrae in my back. But legally, I wasn’t “denied care”, because a nurse gave me two painkillers before sending me home. She’d assured me nothing was wrong and I’d be fine. Turns out, she was wrong. Not only were the vertebrae broken, but my tailbone disc had ruptured. I ended up going to Canada for real treatment I could afford and zero wait time, since I elected to pay in cash.

My ex, who was Canadian, was appalled at our system. He just couldn’t believe that ballsy, outspoken Americans were willing to put up with something so crappy, subpar, and expensive. He could never understand why we would jump up and fight over guns and God, but roll over and take it up the ass with no lube when it came to our own healthcare. Quite frankly, he was right.
Two different doctors told me that I almost died last Monday, and that they rarely see a reaction as bad as mine…that I was lucky. If I’d waited a few more minutes (fuck you, slow driving time thieves), or had gotten stung twice, not so much. Thank God I chose Quick Care and not the hospital. To those who might find themselves in the same situation one day, perhaps skip the ER if you want to live. I was also told that since my reaction was so bad, next time it’ll be worse, so I probably won’t make it to an emergency room on my own. Go big or go home, right? (Totally my catch-phrase on this one.)

Eventually, I was allowed to leave with a prescription for two epi pens and a variety of other medications. 

However, more fun ensued the following evening when I headed back into the emergency clinic with complications. That wasp was killing me! Literally. (And financially.) My lower leg and foot were hot to the touch, hurt and had doubled in size. I have a high pain tolerance and of course, waited too long once again.

I had a skin infection from the sting site called Cellulitis. “When can I work out?”

Doc: “Not for a while.”

Me: “Define a while.”

Him: “At least 4 days.”

Ugh. I’d skipped the gym all holiday weekend, too. I’ve missed too much gym time this year between pneumonia, bronchitis and now this. I was told to sit on my ass with my leg elevated, and take more medications. I won’t lie; this fucking sucks.GZ_punisher

You know what pisses me off? I didn’t even get to kill that wasp. Chris killed its entire family, Frank Castle Punisher style. I suppose that will have to suffice. I left the decimated wasp nest on my front porch as a warning to all others.

The fact that I was so close to dying still hasn’t sunk in. My blood pressure dropped and my heartbeat nearly stopped, too. 

I’ve managed to survive much in life:

A highly, abusive ex who tried to strangle me on his way out. (The police broke in to the apartment and tasered him multiple times before taking him to jail).

Bad ring accidents; including a broken back which brought on an asthma attack so bad that I didn’t think I’d make it 537017_256535387813274_1269586530_nthrough.

Multiple battles with pneumonia.

Traveling to foreign countries alone (especially during the Bush era, when everyone hated Americans. I got sent into a dangerous area of Paris “for fun” when I had asked for directions).

One near plane crash during takeoff.

An accidental med overdose as a kid.IMG_20150522_095818

Living with a bipolar father.

A wrist cutting. (Hey, I inherited the bp gene. Kind of comes with the territory.), 

Falling out of trees/off bikes with alarming regularity (sans helmet).

Gymnastics classes.

Working in retail at Christmas.

All of that, only to be done in by a stupid insect?!?

I knew moving to Florida would kill me. On the plus side, at least there’s no death tax here.

I shudder to think what the hospital bills are going to be.

This is where I should say how grateful I’ve realized I am, but to be honest, I was grateful before this. If I had died on that day, I’d have been fine with it. The people I love know I love them.  I’ve been places and done things. I’ve lived. I feel lucky on most days, with the clear exception of  that Monday. So, I’ll just say thank you for being fans and friends – and if I should have the ironic death of having been through so much shizz in life only to kick the bucket from a fucking bee sting, feel free to have a laugh for me. I know I sure would! 

In the meantime, I am sitting around until I finish the antibiotics catching up on Game of Thrones. Silver linings…

Photography: Dustin McClease

Onto the positives…

Thank you to Doctors Express in Clearwater, FL. You’re all awesome.

Huge thanks (big time!) to those who have sent things off my Amazon Wishlist ( ) . Unfortunately, we don’t get rich in wrestling or modeling unless you’re at the very top tier. We are more often than not in trade; content for time. Comic books for our image. Photos for our day of work. It matters more than you know when fans are sweet and supportive. I am very thankful to those who go the extra mile.

I realize I haven’t updated my blog in eons. I’ve been writing, but not FINISHING. Much has been going which that has consumed energy like a vampire; a 5-week ComicCon tour, house hunting and Chris’ bipolar meds being all kinds of fuckity, to name a few of the higher priorities.

Chris holding Daisy.

But one of these things is that I got baby chicks! At a Shine Wrestling show in January, a friend found a rejected hatchling. She couldn’t keep it due to her extensive cat collection, so I took her home. I’d always wanted chickens one day…just not THAT day. I was a completely clueless chicken (pullet) owner. But things have a way of working out. Her name became Daisy (we hoped it was a ‘her’) and I believe she may be a (bantam) Easter Egger. They’re called that because their eggs are in shades of blue, green, red and yellow. For the first 24 hours of her life, she wasn’t kept warm (unless she was tucked into my boobs), so we didn’t think she’d survive.

5149914421_9ca1522f9dBut, she did. Chickens of that breed roam around Ybor City. On Google and through talking to others, I’ve learned about heat lamps, Chicken Math, medicated feed and what the term ‘broody’ means, among many other things. The first time I had to reach into a bag of (delicious and nutritious) meal worms, I’ll admit I was extremely grossed out. Now, it’s no biggie.

Chicken Math.

We honestly had no idea if the little fuzzy yellow ball of cheeping sweetness was a Daisy or a Duke. This became a problem. Where I live, Roosters are illegal and I’d gotten insanely attached to the baby chick. She perked up when she saw me, responded to her name, answered back if talked to, came when called. She also couldn’t stop looking into the mirror I’d put into her brooder (box), which meant she was lonely. I learned she should not be alone, so we got two more chicks from a farm that were show quality silver and gold laced Wyandotte breeds that were slightly older, as that was all that was available in our area. Delilah and Daphne weren’t as warm and fuzzy as Daisy is. They’d been treated as livestock, not pets for the first several weeks of their lives and it showed. The new girls were skittish and hand-shy. It 11041701_673791269421015_7093770322807567878_ntook a lot of work to get them used to us, but they’ve adjusted to a degree. They’d fall asleep in our arms, while we rubbed their necks each night. Daisy turned out to be 100% female (thankfully!) and 100% pet. She loves being picked up and petted. As soon as she sees us, she starts chattering. If you’d told me that chickens make great pets, I would have laughed. But, they do.


I can’t meditate. I’ve tried. I’ve even gone to classes to learn. Clearing a bipolar/ADHD mind is nearly impossible. But watching those chicks play, scratch, interact with each other and chirp away is just about the same thing as meditating. I am able to shut the world out, clear everything and just take them in. It’s strange how calming they are for me. The world quiets, my thoughts stop racing, and it’s just them.

With all this, I have come to a conclusion : chickens = happy.

And they haven’t even started to lay eggs yet. Can’t wait!

Miss Daisy. Or, Margarita, in Spanish.


Big thanks to Micheal Patry, Danielle Dadamo and Jennifer Dunham for editing my questionable grammar! And thank you to Chris for being the first to read everything and the first to help with it…no matter how honest it is. 🙂


Daisy, Delilah and Daphne, ranging freely.



How could anyone not fall in love with this teeny, squeaky baby?

Author: themuseherself

I'm a girl trying to find her way...and enjoy the ride along the way.

3 thoughts on “Chapter 23 – Wasp: 1 – April: 0. (Money for Everything and My Chicks for Free.)”

  1. Just read your account of dealing with US health care, or maybe I should say Florida health care since there are variations among states (and how). Not that we’re totally free from that up here in Canuckistan (nor of course from problems)but what differences there are among provinces are insignificant compared with that among US states. I’m guessing you might have a better arrangement in more progressive states like Vermont, Oregon, or Hawaii (I suspect that there’s only a few more). I take it you’ve seen Michael Moore’s “Sicko”, you might consider a trip to Cuba like the insured Americans who couldn’t get proper care did, I’m guessing government officials after reading your well written and reasoned indictment would give you free treatment just for the propaganda value. As one of the few things Cuba does well let’s hope that it survives the country’s opening up to American tourism and dollars, in fact it may be one of the things Americans will go to Cuba for, never mind Mexico. Things have improved somewhat with Obamacare, but as you know the US right is determined to kill it before it becomes too popular to kill, and now they’re getting a chance or rather beginning to, and guess which is one of the states that’s worst affected?
    So why do Americans accept the situation? Part of it is ignorance. I remember an academic survey done back in the ’90s which showed that a majority of respondents could not correctly say which PARTY their member of Congress belonged to, never mind their name. And there is that anecdote you may have heard about the woman who begged her representative (forget the state but I think it was southern) to get the government to keep their hands off her Medicare. Where exactly did she think it came from? A more flattering reason why some Americans oppose universal healthcare (they were actually talking about it back in 17th century England, go figure) is because whereas guns and God are individualistic, universal healthcare is COLLECTIVIST, and anything collectivist having to do with government, other than the military, public works, public education, public libraries, subsidies to sports, subsidies to business (have I named them all?), is SOCIALISM, and as we know Russia was and Cuba is SOCIALIST, so need we say more? While there are Americans like you who know better, that socialism works better than free market capitalism in certain limited areas like medical care for most people I fear a great many Americans don’t. So OK if a person wants to be a rugged individualist they have my respect but when the crunch comes don’t be a hypocrite like Ayn Rand who applied for Medicare, under her husband’s name, when she developed cancer (and I wonder if Ron and Rand Paul have rejected their government medical care benefits as members of Congress?). One thing that I’ve noticed is a constant with the US hard right, as Jon Stewart shows almost on a daily basis, is their hypocrisy regarding benefits from government, if it’s to the less fortunate, it’s bad, but if it’s to them and their friends or people they would like to be their friends (like Wall Street bankers), it’s good. I’m guessing what may be at least somewhat maddening for you and other informed Americans is that you have to suffer the consequences of voting by the Americans who aren’t.
    I hope I haven’t gone on to long. Keep us updated on the chickens who aren’t going to be “retired” to quote a friend on mine in Quebec who raises them. It’ll be interesting to see how long they live as pets rather than livestock, and of course I hope relations are good with the rest of the menagerie (full grown chickens vs. cat/corgis, hmmm). Best wishes for a rapid recovery (assuming you’re not there yet) and I look forward as always to your next post. Can’t wait to read what you think of Hilary Clinton (I know, Bernie Sanders doesn’t have a snowball’s) 😉


    1. Oh, yes. Sicko was spot on. I used to do a lot of advocacy for universal healthcare and worked for Dennis Kucinich’s plan for a while. It was good, but didn’t make it. I’m also non affiliated. I think both parties have good and idiocy about them and the media twists that to keep America separated and at each other’s throats even further. I know a lot of Conservatives; they’re not as they’re portrayed and most are rabid environmentalists who lead the way in recycling, composting, growing their own food, etc. I know many Liberals who don’t “live off the system”, are gainfully employed and are religious. It’s like anything…you can’t believe what you see coming from the TV. Our media (all of it, everything we see, hear and read) is owned by only 6 corporations. They can fear and sell us into anything they wish. Unfortunately, too many Americans believe if it comes from the TV screen they “worship”, then it must be true…or real “news”. We’ve largely lost the ability to think for ourselves, question everything, get along with and listen to others who have different opinions…even to the point where we have preferred news stations that cater to the right or the left that sooth our egos and thoughts that our opinions are in fact the only ones which are correct and matter.

      That said, some of us have come a long way. More and more Americans are waking up and aware now.

      I’m all for government benefits for those who need them, and I’d like to see better programs…but with caveats. Time limits. Training. Drug testing. Caps. IE: one can get welfare, but they receive the same amount whether they have 1 child or 6. They are also drug tested and suspended if positive, but still receive job training the entire time. Offer free tubal ligation, vasectomy and birth control. No one on welfare should be having more kids when they can’t afford the ones they have. It’s not responsible parenting and not a good way to bring up children. Not to mention, it stresses the parent(s) out further.

      I’d like to see socialized healthcare for all, with a small fee to see doctors to discourage anyone and everyone from flooding hospitals for a stubbed toe. Same with childcare. In some areas, it’s cheaper for one parent to give up working than it is to put them in day care. The insurance to run a day care is ridiculous. Cap that and lower the fees. $2 an hour in France works. Why not here?

      I’d like to see real mental health therapy and counseling widely available and affordable. We don’t have a gun issue in the USA so much as we have a crazy issue which isn’t being treated because people can’t afford it. (And I can say that because I am “crazy” and I know first hand how brutal the costs are to treat a mental disorder. My medications and psych costs are ridiculous. How can an average person who isn’t working, teen, parent with kids, disabled vet or elderly on a fixed income afford it?) If you go to any free clinic here—even if you say you’re thinking of killing yourself—you will wait HOURS. It’s fucked up. We rake in tons of profit on mental health meds. A one month supply of a stabilizer is $600-850. WHAT THE FUCK? No drug should EVER be that much. Most people are on 2-6 meds for mental disorders. And, it certainly doesn’t cost that much to buy in other countries. So, it’s no there’s nothing between those who snap and mass killings. In other counties, which HAVE real healthcare AND guns…this doesn’t happen. Germany, Canada, Switzerland…nada, really.

      Handouts don’t work. It creates laziness and apathey. But help does if done right. Keep it limited, make people work for it and earn it…and extend the programs so more can make use of them, as they will cost less with caps.

      So, there’s more to it all than appearances would show. Just answering this could be another entire blog.

      Thank you for your comment. Much of it is quite accurate. People who are ignorant fucktards (often parroting news and believing their way is the ONLY way) irritate the shit out of me. When information is readily available and easy to find, I don’t understand why so many elect to be dumb. I remove myself from them and those situations. I’ve actually shut the TV off in the past year, stopped watching the news and “broken up” with narrow minded or negative friends. I’d rather surround myself with quality, intelligent people of all thoughts so I can improve myself and have interesting discussions. Truthfully, I am much happier for it.
      “Find the most talented person in the room and stand next to them. If that person is you, find another room.”

      And yep…I have a zoo. LOL. I know chickens live a long time, but only produce for a couple years. I can’t see myself getting rid of them. They don’t cost much to feed, have each other for company and are a low maintenance pet. I’d probably just get a few new chicks for eggs and end up with a massive amount of birds at the end of the day. I never had kids, so fur and feathers are who I get to hang out with and spoil. 🙂


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